Jan 02 , 2020
A Slow Week But Not For Roomba
Thankfully, the week of Christmas was a slow week for our Dumbass contest. Our politicians were snug in their beds with fairytale visions of Impeachment stuck in their heads (I couldn’t resist). Most left Washington on break from their chores with so little to say these last two weeks of the year. Insight and experience tells us that this is only a temporary reprieve, and that by the second week of January they will be back in full swing. I like the quiet and restful time, however Dumbasses abound and since it is what we do, our board had to choose between: a woman who got angry and attack someone who wished her Merry Christmas and a North Carolina couple who called 911 and alerted the Police that an intruder was in their home, only to realize that it was their brand new Roomba vacuum.
The first story happened in Ohio and the police report stated that the woman, who we will not name, attacked someone by repeatedly punching them in the face because they wished her a Merry Christmas. It’s more sad than funny, but speaks to the tenor of the time. At Dumbass Apparel we say Merry Christmas and will never apologize for doing so. It is in the Christmas Spirit that we are able to recognize that this woman needs help, and our only hope is that she is able to get some. I would like to make jokes, but I am able to recognize the sadness involved with this woman and only wish that she is able to find peace in her life.
The second story takes the cake, though, in regards to our original intent for Dumbass of the Week. It seems that the Milam family bought a Roomba, the robot vacuum cleaner that automatically cleans your floors. During the middle of the night, it got stuck in a corner and made a racket while banging into a wall. So, Mr. Milam called 911 and told the police that an intruder was in their house. The police arrived and saw no need to arrest the Roomba because the Milam’s said that it was theirs. Okay, let’s be clear, calling the police because the Roomba was making a noise was only part of the problem but was not, on its own, enough to secure Dumbass of the Week. Posting your story on Facebook and doing a local TV news interview, so that everyone in the world can hear how stupid you are is what makes the Milam’s our Dumbasses of the Week. To be fair, after watching them do the news interview, I’m sure they’d agree.
And, like we said earlier, thankfully, it was a slow week.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,